someone get that fucking seahorse.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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