I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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