therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
