you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
