How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
