so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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