Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
