take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
