Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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