PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
