Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
