That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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