He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
