They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
