Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
