i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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