so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
