Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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