Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
