I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
