I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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