i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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