you guys were way drunker than both of me
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize