i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Damn victory sex feels great
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize