I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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