Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
