I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
