She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
