I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
