don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
