Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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