U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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