Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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