I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
