Can i not drive my cunt home
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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