dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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