you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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