i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
