Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize