so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
