She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
