I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
His hands were made for my vagina.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
