Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Randomize
