You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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