I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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