I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
