ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize