Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
