my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
