Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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