dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
