Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
