so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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