Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
