And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Less talking, more tequila
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
