my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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