did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
just come out here and I will go home with you...
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
