and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
