I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
