love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
