if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
