wat bout pragnant strippers??
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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