you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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