We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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