so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
