i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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