I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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