It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
