i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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