I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize