i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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