if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
