True but thats because hes a fetus.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize