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• (408): View more from California

  I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure

  Fav 28 738 1963

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• (813): View more from Florida

  I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters

  (1-813): View more from Florida

  What is a male extremity?

  (813): View more from Florida

  i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex

  Fav 35 1040 5003

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.

  Fav 11 4502 1557

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• (760): View more from California

  My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?

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• (315): View more from New York

  I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.

  Fav 6 2202 904

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• (786): View more from Florida

  hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!

  Fav 10 1435 2278

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.

  Fav 17 3117 1242

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.

  (269): View more from Michigan

  AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.

  Fav 4 1351 618

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• (407): View more from Florida

  What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver

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• (512): View more from Texas

  im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  well ya only live once...

  (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

  that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night

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