we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
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