Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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