broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
